Of Siblings and Masks
by Dracon Asahara
Summary: Post R2. A Nunnally introspective. In which Suzaku realizes what it means that Nunnally and Lelouch were siblings. Because just like Lelouch was no true demon, Nunnally is far from being an angel. And they all wear masks. dark-ish. Suzaku is Zero. One shot.


Disclaimer: I own nothing. Otherwise Code Geass wouldn't have ended this spetaculary. I wouldn't have managed to kill Lelouch.

* * *

**Of Siblings and Masks**

Nunnally was smart.

And it had taken Suzaku the last three years, serving by her side under the guise of Zero, to realize just how smart.

Now, Suzaku had never considered Nunnally to be stupid in any way. He even had known on a very basic, intuitive level that is, that Nunnally was pretty intelligent. After all even when they still had been children, she had always been the one to understand her brother the best. And, really, everyone that had been able to keep track of Lelouch's train of thought and emotion deserved a price in his opinion.

Lelouch had always been complicated in both his behaviour and speech. When he had first arrived in Japan, arrogant and snippish and princely, Suzaku had loathed him. Not because of his heritage or the way he acted as if he was better than everyone around him (Suzaku _had_ been the Prime Minister son, possessing quite a bit of arrogance himself) but because of his intelligence. It had always been so painfully obvious in everything he did. Every little gesture, every well constructed argument seemed as if it had been analysed a thousand times before being put in action. Lelouch had managed to make proud Suzaku feel a little stupid. Making him feel inferior by purposefully letting him realize the gap between their mental capabilities. It had been his favourite way of pissing Suzaku off. And it certainly hadn't helped when the black haired boy defeated his Go teacher in only their second game after having been explained the rules just in the previous round, whereas Suzaku had constantly been told that once he's an adult he could start considering winning his games. Yeah, he had really hated Lelouch.

It hadn't been until Lelouch and him became friends that the other toned it down a little and allowed Suzaku a better insight in how he thought and felt. But even so it hasn't been easy and Suzaku had to learn how to keep up with the leaps and jumps the other boy made in his mind while talking. Lelouch just never stated the obvious the way a normal child would. But Suzaku had prevailed and over time become quite adapt at figuring out what the young prince was actually trying to say with a certain statement or why formulated things the way he did.

Lelouch had always spoken to his sister in the same way. Indefinitely kinder and more caring, yes, but with the same carefully calculated words. And really, in retrospect that should have told Suzaku a lot about Nunnally.

Nunnally had been years younger but somehow still capable of understanding her older brother perfectly despite the fact that she often lacked the visual stimulants that would clue her into a situation.

Now, with Nunnally nearly at the same age as Lelouch had been upon his death, this intelligence shined through more clearly than ever. And Suzaku couldn't help but think that it must be genetic. After all, the percentage of highly capable people within the rows of the royal families princes and princesses was exceptionally high. Just look at Cornelia or Schneizel and Lelouch.

And now, eighteen years of age, Nunnally showed just how capable she truly was. Her political powress and the way she maneuvres herself out of thigh situations with nothing but a few kind words were something Suzaku had ever only seen in Euphy.

She hadn't let her brother's sacrifice go to waste, managing to practically force the world into becoming a more peaceful place without resorting to threats or violence. Of course Britannia was still far from perfect and relations to the EU still a little strained. But she was managing. Nunnally was slowly creating the world she had always dreamed of. A peaceful world. A gentle world.

And even today, on the three year anniversary of the Demon Emperor's death and her rise to power she watched the crowds below her with a benevolent smile. Sitting high above on a wheelchair that resembled a throne, watching over the people she had sworn to protect. Like the kind, beautifull, fragile girl that she was.

Suzaku nearly gagged at the wrongness of the image.

Because during his three years of serving Nunnally, realizing how intelligent she actually was had been the smallest surprise to him.

Because Nunnally was Lelouch's younger sister.

In more than just blood and name.

Everyone, Suzaku included, had known that the siblings had been close. Lelouch had literally loved his sister to death, dying to give her the chance to a better world. And it was no secret that even at the very end Nunnally had loved her brother back just as much.

And, really Suzaku should have seen it earlier. But looking at the way the girl smiled down at her subjects he could see why nobody ever realized it.

Because to the world (and even their friends and closest allies) Nunnally was the fragile but kind and strong girl that loved the world enough to make it her life's mission to change it for the better.

To Suzaku she was Lelouch's sister. The sister that smiled kind smiles while thinking of death and blood and suffering. The sister that, if given the choice, would kill every last person on this planet if it meant getting her brother back.

Because Nunnally was not kind and cute and fragile. Nunnally was full of hate and spite and grudges. She was the sister that hated the world for taking her brother from her, but still making it her life's mission to fullfill his expectations of her, even if it meant helping the world she had come to hate.

Suzaku was also pretty sure that the only thing she hated more than the rest of the world was him. She had told him so after all.

She had said it with a smile back then too. A small, nearly unnoticeable smile as the two of them stood before her brother's grave just one year ago. Suzaku having her brought there as he was the only person that was constantly around her.

"_You know Suzaku"_ she had started, voice not betraying anything _"sometimes I dream of killing you."_

He had looked at her, shocked by that uncharistical statement and she looked back and suddenly the smile on her face wasn't hers anymore. It had been Lelouch's. Fake and full of suppressed anger. The look in her eyes the same one he had seen on her brother's face so many times before.

"_But I couldn't. After all brother decided your punishment was to live and I love him too much to go against his wishes."_

_She turned back towards the gravestone, her hand touching the black marble._

"_I'm angry at him too. For leaving me alone. But I know he thought he was doing the right thing." _

"_Nunnally..." Suzaku started, unsure of how to deal with this predicament and still thrown off by her words. This was unusual, this was wrong. This wasn't like Nunnally at all. But it was._

"_I never get too angry at him though. I have told you before after all.__" __her eyes were now fixing him into place and even with his mask Suzaku felt like she could look straight into his soul. "You shouldn't be a knight. You fail at protecting those that you are sworn to."_

_And she had told him this before. __When Lelouch had still been alive. __With more fury but the same cold eyes._

"_I blame you."_

_Suzaku had felt his blood run cold at the tone of her voice. So uncaring, so cold, so much like Lelouch._

"_You knew. You could have sto__p__ped him. But you didn't. __Why didn't you Suzaku?__"_

_And Suzaku had wanted to answer, had wanted to argue. About everything. About how it had been Lelouch's idea. About how he had killed million of people in his quest for revenge. About, Clovis, Shirley and Euphy...especially Euphy._

"_Because you are selfish.__"_

_That had stopped him in his tracks. Selfish?_

"_Because you got your revenge on him. And even a reason to live. Pretending it is a punishment."_

"_It __**is**__ a punishment." he snapped. Because __that was what it was. Lelouch had punished him by making him live on. Without his identity. Under a mask for the rest of his life._

"_I hate you."_

_It had been said with so much venom that Suzaku actually recoiled._

"_You are the same as them. The same as everyone. Only seeing my brother for his crimes, pretending he is the big bad evil while they themselves are saints." her voice had mellowed down again and she was staring at the gravestone again._

"_That's not true." __he argued. And it really wasn't. "I know what he did and why he did it. I know how much he sacrificed."_

"_Do you?"_

"_Yes. And I know he did it for you." Suzaku instantly regretted his words. He didn't know how to deal with this side of Nunnally. It was too similar too Lelouch and had lashed out automtaically._

"_I'm sorry, I-"_

"_Don't be. You are right. He did it for me. And for himself of course but mostly for me. I've known that ever since holding his hand while he died." Suzaku understood. He knew about Nunnally's unique talent to determine a persons true feelings by touching their hands. It was scary sometimes. But it hadn't been until now that he thought about what it must have been like for Nunnally. Holding her dying brothers hand, realizing that all he had done was for her sake. It must have been horrible. _

_He felt even more guilty now. Nunnally might have been out to emotionally hurt him but that was understandable, wasn't it? It was the anniversary of her brother's death after all. And he was the one that killed him._

"_I'm sorry" he tried again._

"_He did it for you too, you know?" _

"_What?" Suzaku looked down at her watching her stare at the grave with a frown now marring her face._

"_Everything." It was the first time Suzaku heard disgust in her voice when she spoke about her brother's sacrifice. "Dying. Letting you kill him. Everything."_

"_That's not it. It was necessary. It was all part of the plan. I was merely the only one that he could trust to help him." he explained. It was true after all. No one else knew about Zero Requiem. Not really._

"_You know that's a lie. He could have easily gotten someone else to do it. He had geass" Nunnally answered offhandedly._

"_It was punishment" Suzaku supplied, knowing the truth of his statement._

"_No it was redemption" Nunnaly said, her hands fisting in her lap. "For both of you."_

"_That..." Suzaku hestitated "...might also be true."_

"_And it was for you. Because he gave you your revenge and then he gave you a reason to live. All the while acting like it was his way of making you pay for your betrayal and sins. And you just like everyone else were fooled by him. Even though you should know better. Even though you should know **him** better."_

_Her voice grew in volumne, anger and despair now mixing into it. "He took away you identity and gave you a new one. Suzaku Kururugi would cease to exist and so would his sins. He gave you a purpose, a reason and a new start. As a hero and knight instead of a stupid, suicidal traitor that had killed his own father."_

_And Suzaku was speechless. Because there was no way she could know. The only way for her to know that he had killed...no. Because that would mean she had gotten this from when she had last touched her brother. That this was what he felt while dying. One more thing he had hidden in his heart along under the mask of a demon._

"_Maybe if it wasn't for you he would have tried harder to find another way."_

_And then Nunnally wept._

Even now, one year later, this moment was clearly branded into Suzaku's memory. And he doubted he would ever be able to forget.

The way Nunnally now waved and greeted the masses that celebrated her third year on the throne... it was hard to see in her the same girl that had looked so broken only one year ago. But he knew it was merely a mask. And that, when all festives where over and he would take her to Lelouch's grave she would be the same as she had back then. Honest with him and her emotions.

Because now more so than ever he saw her for what she was. She was like the flipside to Lelouch's coin. With the same ferocity and anger and love that had made Lelouch into who he was.

They were so similar it was scary.

Because just like Lelouch who had hidden away everything good and kind and noble under a mask of cruelty, Nunnally was hiding much darker emotions behind a facade of kindness.

Building her perfect world that would never be perfect without her brother.

The Demon Emperor and the Empress.

And Zero in their Shadow.

* * *

Oh my god. I can't believe I actually wrote something again. But this just needed to get out. It's like all those essays made me forget how much I love writing. Now I'm happy.

Sorry for faults, it's un-Betaed.

So yes, I was looking for a fanfic with an introspective of Nunnally and just couldn't find the right thing. So I wrote one. For those who don't know, Nunnally actually truly has a darker side to her that she always kept hidden so her brother would love her. Official information says so. I also believe that with Lelouch's death this side of hers would sometimes shine through. I believe Lelouch was perfectly aware of this part of her. He even once admitted to Nunnally having temper tantrums after all. He loved her anyway. Those siblings.

Moreover Suzaku's punishment was the Geass to live. I think Lelouch is secretly just too kind. And Nunnally holds grudges too.

Thanks for reading.


End file.
